Tuesdays with Morrie

As it says on the book's back cover, Tuesdays with Morrie is "a magical chronicle of their time together", the word 'their' referring to the author/journalist Mitch Albom, who goes back to revisit his old university professor to discuss life.

It's a book that I find myself dipping in and out of from time to time, as the lessons remain so particularly relevant to all of us, and serves as a great moral and spiritual compass, with that good old-fashioned advice that is passed down the generations.

So, as someone who has always been captivated by the teachings of village elders, I sought to follow in Mitch's footsteps and I interviewed my father's dearest childhood friend, a sprightly 85-year-old retired ex-railway worker (who left school at the age of 11). 

My chat lasted about an hour and took place on just the one day and during that time I tried to cover many of the topics from the book. For the purposes of this post, I will dwell on what I thought was the standout point that this remarkable man made to me. 

Are you happy with your lot?

The closest translation (from the Italian) that I could find would be something akin to being happy with your lot. We hear this quite often in many different guises, for example when we're told to count our blessings. 

Here was a man with no regrets who was extremely happy with his life's 'opus', what he had achieved in life and would do it all over again. The word envy did not exist in his vocabulary and the only thing he might 'begrudge' his fellow man was their peace of mind.  

Throughout our conversation I kept getting little reminders about this, almost as if he wanted to make sure that I got the message. "It's important that we don't expect manna from heaven", "Starting from an honest base without having too many big ideas", "I think what I've achieved is sufficient". There were other examples. 

His life philosophy I think was best summed up when I asked him if he would rate his life a 10 out of 10. To which he replied, "Well, I think we could all settle for a nine".

Shouldn't we all just lower the bar a bit generally, be happy with what we have and above all with who we are? If it means peace of mind, then surely it's a price worth paying. Message received loud and clear.

Ignorance is bliss

I recently read that email takes up 28% of our time at work, which is a startling statistic in itself. Clearly, there are many things we can do to boost our productivity and many books have been written on the subject.

However, I'm not here to give any advice about when you should check your emails or the steps you should take to declutter your inbox.  

Steal back time...learn to let go

This did get me thinking about one thing that we can probably all do more of as we try to steal back some of that precious time that gets so invaded by the constant barrage of requests that bombard us. 

I often find myself trying to understand some issue or other that I have had no personal experience with but which may have been discussed in an email or during a conference call, and that for some reason known only to me, I somehow need to contemplate further.

Well, you'll be glad to hear that I'm beginning to learn my lesson and that sometimes you just, well, need to let go. For one, there's only so much that our brains can take, secondly we don't actually need to understand some things and thirdly we should accept our own limitations and move on to something else.

Surrender and admit defeat

Now I'm not advocating that we should just dismiss these 'intrusions'  - in fact, trying to work something out is very admirable and can get you plenty of brownie points, but sometimes we just need to surrender - for our own mental wellbeing as much as anything. 

There are just some things that are best left to the experts, people who know a darn sight more than either me or you will ever know. So leave them to it, ask a question or two by all means, but if you can see that there are no gains in prolonging the agony, quit while you're ahead. 

As knowledge workers, we're constantly expected to absorb and process so much information, our time is constantly taken up with email, meetings and deadlines. It's a wonder sometimes how we are able to carry on at all. 

There are some things we'll never have first hand experience of, so there's no shame in admitting it - to others if need be but most importantly to ourselves.

Our time is better spent elsewhere and productivity will be the beneficiary. As will our mental sanity. There are also plenty of things we don't need to know or get involved in. 

Ignorance in this sense can definitely be blissful. 

Execs and the frontline

A recent article from Douglas A. Wilson published by the +Harvard Business Review Blog Network prompted me to pick up the discussion and add to it from my own previous interviews.

I'll let you read the article for yourself and include the link at the bottom but in brief Wilson talks about what execs can do to keep in touch with what's going on in "all corners of your organisation" and he goes on to list three questions that they can ask.

Clearly, spending time with frontline workers, understanding their realities and trying to make a difference should be a top priority for all leaders – TV programmes such as 'Undercover Boss' really drive the point home.

Standing among your people

And as Professor Julian Birkinshaw pointed out to me, "There are many smaller ways of getting ourselves closer to the front line, and into the mindset of the people working for us. For example, many retail bosses spend time serving behind the food counter and working the tills."

When I asked leadership expert John Adair if modern day leaders are too detached from their people, he answered that

"True leaders should be among their people, especially when it comes to sharing dangers and hardships. Otherwise a social distance develops and understanding (which literally means to stand among people) goes out of the window". 

But staying connected with fellow workers isn't just the preserve of CEOs and leaders - the same principle applies to all managers who strive to become better bosses.  And given that feedback is typically very hard to come by, that brings me to Jill Geisler's 'Million Dollar Question'.

This applies as much to C-Suite execs as it does to middle managers and is a slight variant on Wilson's first question. So, from today onwards, start asking, "Is there anything you need more of – or less of – from me?"  

I for one already have.

Read Douglas A. Wilson's HBR blog post 

Should I stay or should I go?

I read a great article on LinkedIn recently by +Moz Hussain in which he discussed the big Hamletian work question, 'To stay or to leave (my job)?'

Many of us have probably been in that predicament, a bit miffed that maybe we were overlooked for that promotion or that old chestnut of 'overworked and underpaid', so it's fairly easy to go down that route and entertain the leaving dilemma. 

The right mindset

Moz makes the obvious point that if you feel you're not getting anywhere, than you should perhaps do yourself and your company a favour. Quit complaining and move on. But he also points to the negative mindset and victim mentality that can seep in, which may well have nothing to do with the work environment. In fact, "That's something that moving companies won't solve," Hussain stresses.

As well as following your passions ("Do a job that you love and you'll never work another day" as Confucius allegedly said, or words to that effect) the article also talks about taking "step jumps", in other words looking for opportunities to develop. And the final point Hussain makes is about getting your work-life balance right, which is of course a key consideration.

Make the most of this opportunity

All very sound advice and it got me thinking about that doyen of creative thinking and advertising heavyweight, Paul Arden. In his brilliant book, 'Whatever you think, think the opposite' he advocates not staying in a job too long and that if you're constantly fighting an uphill battle to get your ideas accepted, then you should resign - "It takes courage but it is the right move" according to Arden.  

Whichever route you decide to take, whether you stay or ultimately go, make sure you make the most of the opportunity you're given or as Arden puts it, "The one you have in hand is the opportunity".

If you're not happy, then it might well be time to go - but who's to say that the pattern won't repeat itself. And as we all know, the grass is not always greener on the other side. 

Read Moz Hussain's article on LinkedIn